Friday, June 28, 2013

Here's what I really want to say...

I've been nervous to express my thoughts on a certain subject, but I feel like it's important.

I'm an ELCA Lutheran Church member.  For those who don't know about the ELCA, it stands for Evangelical Lutheran Church of America and recently we sent a bit of a ripple throughout the Lutheran community.

The ELCA elected their first homosexual bishop:
http://www.thenewamerican.com/culture/faith-and-morals/item/15637-nations-largest-lutheran-denomination-elects-first-homosexual-bishop

Now having a religious blog probably gives off the impression that I would be opposed to this.  Religion tends to be labeled "right winged conservative".  That's the impression in the media.  No wiggle room.  However, I support the ELCA's decision.  In fact, I'm proud of it.

Here's what I really want to say.  I support the movement toward equal rights for the LGBT community.  I support marriage equality.  And I have a hard time swallowing that being gay is a sin.

I've been reading the Bible on this issue.  This disheartens me:

"For this reason God gave them up to dishonorable passions. Their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural, and the men likewise gave up natural relations with women and were consumed with passion for one another, men committing shameless acts with men and receiving in their own persons the due penalty for their error" (Rom. 1:26–27).

I wish the Bible had more kind things to say about homosexuality simply so modern conservatives wouldn't use the Bible so vehemently to condemn the act.  I'm not suggesting that all religious follows do so.  In fact, I know many people of faith who also support LGBT, but like me, are too nervous to step forward.

Let me explain.  If homosexuality is a sin, than it is no more or less a sin than gluttony.  I am fat.  I'm 30 pounds overweight.  I've also been known to binge eat from time to time.  I'm a glutton.  Am I going to hell?  I certainly hope not, but even more than that, I believe in the promise that Christ died for our sins.  He died to wash me clean from my gluttony.  In that case, wouldn't a homosexual also be without sin (if homosexuality is a sin)?  And we all have sins.  So aren't we all guilty of something?  Didn't Jesus die for all of us?

Also, Jesus wanted us to love one another, the way he loved us.  It's so saddening to hear hateful language coming from a religious leader.  That's not the purpose of the church and it makes everyone of faith look bad.

What if we stopped pointing fingers?  What if we stopped trying to scream the sins of another directly to their faces?  Is that really helping anyways?  I know that when I was younger, and people called me names for being fat, it hurt and only made me resentful, angry and depressed.  What gives anyone the right to make another person feel that way?

I know this is a touchy subject. I just wanted to let everyone know my opinion.  I felt that by sitting in the back of the pew, not speaking up, I wasn't being true to the opinions God gave me.  I hope you'll consider my point-of-view, and as always, I welcome respectful debate. 

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

The young NJ : Apathetic Christian - Atheist

I wanted to share some of the old me.  I feel like it's important for non believers to see that not everyone starts out as a a Christian.

Before September, 2001, I considered myself some sort of apathetic Christian.  I believed in God, but only as a genie who granted wishes to those in his favor.  As a result, I believed that praying in God led to great things and Christians were some how raised above society, destined to live lives of comfort and ease.  I didn't go to church but I prayed at night, speaking to God much like I would a friend, and usually asking for good grades.

If someone handed me a calendar, I wouldn't have been able to point to Easter.  I had no idea what month it was in.  I also - and this is embarrassing to admit - believed that Christmas was December 24th.  And the resurrection of Christ?  I had no idea that he actually rose from the dead.  In my mind, it was a metaphor. 

I thought I'd go to heaven when I died. 

Now, at the time, I was in high school and my lunch table consisted of a devout Mormon, a boy converting to Mormonism to be with the devout Mormon (they are now married with 3 kids), a born again Christian, a life long Christian and several atheists.  We had many discussions about God, and one day, the life long Christian told me, flat out, that I wasn't going to heaven. 

Talk about a slap in the face.

I was both hurt and insulted.  Hurt that she thought I wasn't going to heaven and insulted that she hadn't made an effort to save me.  But it got me thinking about the afterlife and after tons of lunch room talks, somehow, I ended up leaning toward the aesthetic side. I hadn't officially picked a side, just started leaning toward them.

Then in September, 2001, an acquaintance - a freshman boy who LOVED Jesus - was murdered in the neighborhood next to ours.  It was a completely senseless killing.  I went to his memorial and so many people stood and talked about his love of Jesus, but I didn't get it.  Why had Jesus done this to a young boy who loved him?

That's when I gave up on God.  Afterall, if believing in God got you killed, I wanted nothing to do with him.

So began my atheist life.  Thankfully, God didn't give up on me, even though I began criticizing his followers. In college, I recognized the whole in my life came from turning my back on him and I started the long journey to become a Christian.

But let me go back.

A friend of mine said that he didn't understand why people turn away from God in times of crisis.  It's in those times, he said, that people should turn to God.

I didn't understand that.  For me, it had been the very opposite.  But I didn't have faith then.  I didn't want to invest in a relationship, to put in the work on my end to get to know Christ.  So I blamed him, then turned my back.

If you're at this point, or you've been here, know that God hasn't turned his back on you.  But it's up to you to make the move and start the conversation.  Ask God why.  Ask God to help you deal with the grief.  Tell God you're angry, sad, disappointed.  Tell him you don't believe.  Ask if he's real.

Saturday, June 8, 2013

Are you worth it? - Weight Loss Edition

Losing weight is annoying.  It's time consuming, frustration and never ending.  At least, for me.  And I'm tired of hearing people say "eat less, exercise more" or "if you really want it, you would just do it".  Not helpful.  The truth is, weight loss is a lot more complicated then simply reducing calories.  For many, myself including, eating is comforting, fun, relaxing, entertaining, social, emotional....you get the point.  Food makes everything better, right before it makes you feel a thousand times worse.

Feel this way?  You are SO not alone.

First thing first....STOP beating yourself up!!  Seriously.  STOP!  Unless you're part cyborg program for perfection, you're going to have weight loss set backs.  Say it out loud.  "I'm going to have set backs."  Say it louder!  "I'M GOING TO HAVE SET BACKS!"  Now accept it.  Really let it soak in.  It's ok.  Relax.  Set backs don't mean that you won't get there.  When you feel the ugly guilt / depression / anger rise in your gut, REFUSE to let it consume you!

While discussing my own weight loss journey with someone recently, she asked "Are you worth it?"  Am I worth losing the weight?  She must have seen the doubt on my face because immediately, before I could even answer, she asked, "Is your son worth it?".

Here's a truth - Most of the time, I don't think I'm worth it.  I don't mean to be Debbie Downer, but that's just the reality of my situation.  How about you?  Answer honestly.  Do you think your worth losing weight?

Now, I'm going to get religious on you....please stick with me :)

God knows that you're worth it.  Ok, ok...I'm sure you've heard this 100 times already and it's probably not doing a whole lot for you.  So let me put it this way.  Our lives are mist in the the grand scheme of things.  Think about it.  The universe is ENORMOUS, our Earth is FILLED with people and has been around for MILLIONS of years!  We live for...oh, let's be optimistic and say 90 years....really, in the grand scheme, that's mist, here and then gone. (The mist reference is in the Bible, I don't know where, but you can google if you're curious).

BUT...God still took the time to create you.  He took the time to give you your freckles, your courage, your wrinkles, your hope.  He created ever small beautiful detail that makes you, you.  Now, why in the world would he do that?

Because you're worth it.  Because you have a purpose.  Because he couldn't imagine a universe - as large and vast as it is - without YOU.

Now, let that soak in.  Really.  He is your Father.  A perfect, loving Father.  And he wants you to succeed.  He wants you feel worth it.  He's cheering for you.



Through him, anything is possible.

Pray with me:
Father, help me to see myself through your eyes.  Help me overcome self doubt.  Help me feel your encouragement when I need it the most.  Please give me the desire to live a healthy life style and please give me the courage to lean on you, always.  Amen.

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

What if God says NO?

People have told me that God always answers your prayers.  I took this to believe that he always answers in a positive way. 

"Why yes, I'll make sure you get that amazing job."  or "You need a little extra cash this month?  I'll make that happen."

I thought that being a Christian meant that God would always see to your success and prosperity.  When I think about this, I actually realize how incorrect this notion is, especially since so many people in the Bible suffered for their belief in Christ.

Bottom line : God does answer prayers.  It's just not always a "yes".

We, as Christians, are not exempt from suffering.  We aren't exempt from a bad economy, or job lay offs, or tantrums thrown by our children.  We're not going to always have a plush life but there are plenty of examples of suffering in the Bible that can give us hope in our dark moments.

Job is a good one.  I'm currently reading his story (it's a tough read so I'm going very slowly).  Want an even better one?  How about Christ?  Son of God nailed to a wooden cross.  I'd call that suffering.

God doesn't leave us in our dark moments.  He's a sympathetic, loving God who has a plan that we, as humans living in our little bubbles of life, can't possibly understand.  But he can use anything for his glory.  Anything.

Martin Luther talks a lot of about suffering and says that faith is strengthened through weakness.  Think about it this way : When we are at our low points, we have nothing, sometimes literally.  When we are empty, God will fill us up.  When we are "full" - we have a nice house, great family, perfect job - we tend to get too busy to allow God into our lives.  Maybe we get a little vain.  Maybe we get to busy for church, or Bible study. 

Pain is an opportunity for humility.  Paul describes this when he literally had a piece of wood stuck in his side and asked God to remove it.  God said that all Paul needs is Him and that His power is made perfect through suffering.  Paul needed God.  He needed his comfort when he hurt, so God was able to work through him. 

Does this make any sense?  It's confusing, I know.  But it's like we're all vessels and when we're empty God has plenty of room to fill us up.  When our vessel is full of other things, there isn't a ton of room for God. 

I hope I haven't made this topic more confusing. 

Here's a song that helps put it into words:

What do you think about God saying no?  Feel free to comment!